In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
