I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
id be glad to
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize