My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
