Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize