Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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