You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
