Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
