Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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