I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
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He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
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fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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