That's when you crack a 10am beer
she looked like the before picture.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
