think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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