Texts From Last Night

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  (714): View more from California

  what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?

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  (714): what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date? http://tfl.nu/fkwi
  Replies (69) Good night (3947) Bad night (1363)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.

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  (508): Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast. (508): PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail. http://tfl.nu/qbqn
  Replies (29) Good night (5239) Bad night (669)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be

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  (717): This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be http://tfl.nu/0ihg
  Replies (59) Good night (8266) Bad night (950)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!

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  (469): I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!! http://tfl.nu/b8q7
  Replies (46) Good night (1263) Bad night (26095)
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  (631): View more from New York

  I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?

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  (631): I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful? http://tfl.nu/fnv5
  Replies (21) Good night (789) Bad night (5756)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Apparently senior citizens don't like that position

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  (505): Apparently senior citizens don't like that position http://tfl.nu/ttsr
  Replies (34) Good night (1109) Bad night (5447)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night

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  (905): He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night http://tfl.nu/aleg
  Replies (11) Good night (2715) Bad night (944)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".

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  (620): The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices". http://tfl.nu/jiwo
  Replies (23) Good night (4970) Bad night (1183)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.

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  (727): There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though. http://tfl.nu/m08y
  Replies (8) Good night (1031) Bad night (2366)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.

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  (480): You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that. http://tfl.nu/96f7
  Replies (30) Good night (1266) Bad night (1668)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.

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  (931): Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult. http://tfl.nu/v17w
  Replies (10) Good night (1333) Bad night (524)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.

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  (512): You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits. http://tfl.nu/ddql
  Replies (6) Good night (1475) Bad night (578)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere

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  (614): So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere http://tfl.nu/qzem
  Replies (1) Good night (865) Bad night (368)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.

  (469): View more from Texas

  BP at your house from now on.

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  (214): NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off. (469): BP at your house from now on. http://tfl.nu/i1e8
  Replies (0) Good night (621) Bad night (242)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.

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  (270): We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm. http://tfl.nu/4qrz
  Replies (5) Good night (257) Bad night (546)

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