I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
