I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
