Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
