I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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