Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
