There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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