My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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