I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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