I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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