i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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