I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
