Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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