I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize