i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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