and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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