Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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