Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize
