I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I have fence marks all over my body
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
