i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
