it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
