There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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