If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
