Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
