she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Randomize
