So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Randomize
