Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
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