I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
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Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
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How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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