I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
