Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Randomize
