i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize