I'm drive I can fine osifer
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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