Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
