so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
