After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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