ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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