i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
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He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
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So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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