sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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