I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I FOUND THE LEGS
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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