i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize