STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
My underwear smells like fireworks.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
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