doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
