I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
