we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize