Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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