just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
