Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
