these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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