I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i think i have two assholes
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
