Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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