Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I'm like, not good at living.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
