This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
