This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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