Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
