put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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