but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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