I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
